Poems In Memoriam

When it comes to honoring the memory of a loved one, words can be powerful tools for healing and remembrance. “In Memoriam” poems serve this purpose beautifully, offering solace, expressing emotions, and preserving memories. These poems can be included in funeral programs, memorial services, or kept as personal mementos. Here, we delve into the significance of “In Memoriam” poems, how to choose the right one, and offer a selection of poignant poems to inspire you.

The Significance of “In Memoriam” Poems

“In Memoriam” poems are more than just words on a page. They are a way to celebrate the life of the deceased, to convey the depth of loss, and to offer comfort to those left behind. These poems:

• Express Emotions: They help articulate the complex emotions of grief, love, and remembrance that can be difficult to put into words.
• Preserve Memories: By capturing specific memories or characteristics of the deceased, these poems help keep their spirit alive.
• Provide Comfort: Reading and sharing these poems can be a source of comfort and solace for family and friends during difficult times.
• Create a Connection: They can bring together those who are mourning, creating a shared experience and a sense of community.

How to Choose an “In Memoriam” Poem

Selecting the right “In Memoriam” poem is a deeply personal decision. Here are some tips to help guide you:

1. Consider the Deceased’s Personality: Think about their interests, passions, and the kind of person they were. Choose a poem that reflects their character.
2. Reflect on Your Relationship: The poem should resonate with your relationship to the deceased, whether they were a parent, friend, or partner.
3. Think About the Audience: Consider who will be reading or hearing the poem. Ensure it is appropriate and will resonate with them as well.
4. Match the Tone: The tone of the poem should match the tone of the service. Some may prefer a solemn and reflective poem, while others might choose something more uplifting and celebratory.
5. Personal Touch: Sometimes, writing your own poem can be the most meaningful choice. It allows you to express your personal memories and emotions uniquely.

Examples of “In Memoriam” Poems

Classic Poems

 “Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep” by Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there, I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain, I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the morning’s hush, I am the swift uplifting rush.

Of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there; I did not die.

“Remember” by Christina Rossetti

Remember me when I am gone away, Gone far away into the silent land; When you can no more hold me by the hand, Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.

Remember me when no more day by day You tell me of our future that you planned: Only remember me; you understand It will be late to counsel then or pray.

Yet if you should forget me for a while And afterwards remember, do not grieve: For if the darkness and corruption leave A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,

Better by far you should forget and smile Than that you should remember and be sad.

Modern Poems

 “His Journey’s Just Begun” by Ellen Brenneman

Don’t think of him as gone away His journey’s just begun, Life holds so many facets This earth is only one.

Just think of him as resting From the sorrows and the tears In a place of warmth and comfort Where there are no days and years.

Think how he must be wishing That we could know today How nothing but our sadness Can really pass away.

And think of him as living In the hearts of those he touched… For nothing loved is ever lost And he was loved so much.

 “We Remember Them” by Sylvan Kamens & Rabbi Jack Riemer

At the rising of the sun and at its going down, We remember them. At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter, We remember them.

At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring, We remember them. At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer, We remember them.

At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn, We remember them. At the beginning of the year and when it ends, We remember them.

As long as we live, they too will live; For they are now a part of us, As we remember them.

Creating Your Own “In Memoriam” Poem

If you choose to write your own poem, here are some steps to help you get started:

1. Reflect on Memories: Take time to reflect on your memories with the deceased. Think about special moments, shared experiences, and their unique qualities.
2. Write from the Heart: Don’t worry about perfecting your poem right away. Write from the heart and let your emotions guide you.
3. Keep It Simple: Sometimes, the simplest words can be the most powerful. Focus on clear, heartfelt expressions rather than complex language.
4. Edit and Refine: Once you have your initial draft, take some time to edit and refine it. Read it aloud to see how it flows and make adjustments as needed.
5. Seek Feedback: Share your poem with someone you trust. They can provide valuable feedback and help you see your work from a different perspective.

Incorporating “In Memoriam” Poems into Funeral Programs

Including an “In Memoriam” poem in a funeral program can add a deeply personal touch to the service. Here are some ways to incorporate these poems:

• Opening Tribute: Use a poem as part of the opening tribute to set a reflective and heartfelt tone.
• Program Insert: Include the poem as an insert in the funeral program, allowing guests to take it home as a keepsake.
• Reading During Service: Have a family member or close friend read the poem aloud during the service.
• Memorial Booklets: Create a small booklet with photos and poems to distribute to guests.
• Online Memorials: Share the poem on an online memorial page or social media, where friends and family can read and share their memories.